I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
