my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize