Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
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