god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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