My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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