Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I wanna bring you to show and tell
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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