ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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