my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
