But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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