she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize