Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
