NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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