Just fell off a train. Bad.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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