It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
The best revenge is premature balding
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
