i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
