I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
the liver wants what the liver wants
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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