just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize