So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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