ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
