So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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