I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
