Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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