I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
