it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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