I'm going to jail i love you
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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