what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
