I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
