is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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