you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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