I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Girls should come with a carfax report
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
