So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
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