I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
