If i come over, it means nothing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
