She's JV to your varsity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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