I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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