He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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