WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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