so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
