I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
