I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
