a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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