yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
