so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
