Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
