My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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