Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize