They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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