i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize