I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
