you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
vagina is talking i cant
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
