Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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