i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
