you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize