I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
