It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
